Like most men, I’m constantly wondering whether I earn enough money.

Ten years ago, when I didn’t know any better, I used to think I had to accept whatever a job was willing to offer, because if I didn’t, someone else would, and I’d be out of work. I also believed I should just be grateful to have a job because jobs were scarce, and I was lucky to be employed.

Even though I had qualifications, English is my first language, and I’m a “hardworking” person, I still couldn’t see how I could earn more.

But here’s the thing: that’s all BS. The truth is: if you’re genuinely a person of value who adds something to the team, the job is lucky to have you.

Here Are Some Stats That’ll Get You Thinking:

• 73% of U.S. employers expect candidates to negotiate salary, but 55% of candidates don’t even try.
• 60% of workers feel stuck in a role longer than they want.
• 66% admit that a new role would make them happier… But only 13% actually make the leap.

WTF is going on, man? No wonder everyone looks so pissed off all the time. It makes sense once you start looking at society through this lens.

This is a touchy subject for most men because we’d like to believe we’re well compensated for our time, which I’m sure some of you are, but not all. And the reason why is simple:

You don’t bring anything to the party.

And that’s likely because you don’t like your job or the current career path you’re on. If you don’t care about your job, it shows. If you show up and only do the bare minimum, guess what? That shows too.

So how do you change this? Let me tell you.

Get Better at Selling

Now, I know some of you think selling is a dirty word—but in this life, you are ALWAYS selling.

If you’re interviewing—you’re selling yourself. If you have a new idea—you’re selling it to your boss or investors. If you have customers or clients—you’re selling to them. If you lead a team—you’re selling them a vision. If you’re trying to get a woman—you’re selling D… dreams (duh, what were you thinking?).

You catch my drift.

Until you see everything as a form of selling, you’ll never reach the level you’re capable of. That’s just a fact.

You might say, “Well, I don’t work in sales, so how do I sell?”

This is where the men get separated from the boys.

Because if you’re not in a dedicated sales role but still find ways to bring money into the company, guess what? You’re now doing something beyond your job description—and that is how you start the conversation about getting paid more.

Understand what the business values, and think about how you can bring in leads—even if it’s not technically part of your role.

Negotiate, Negotiate, Negotiate

Even if you’re in a current role, you can still negotiate.

Most people are uncomfortable negotiating because they’re uncomfortable selling. See how that works?

I once knew someone who had been in the same role for years without a meaningful pay rise. When I heard this, I told them it was ridiculous—they weren’t being paid for the value they brought.

They went back to work, spoke to their boss, and their salary was doubled. Yes—doubled.

The company knew they were being taken advantage of.

Don’t think that just because your boss takes the team out for drinks every two months and lets you work from home on Fridays that they care about your financial wellbeing.

You get what you negotiate.

Find out how much you could earn if you moved to another company. Look into bonus structures. Interview at a few places to build your confidence.

Then go to your boss and say: “Here’s the value I bring. I do XYZ, and I’d like a 20, 30, 40, maybe even 50% pay rise.”

If they say no (which they might, depending on your tenure), here’s what you do next:

The 4-Step Response Plan:

1. Ask why not—and what you need to do for them to feel comfortable with your request.
2. Agree on the goals together.
3. Set a timeline—no longer than 3–5 months.
4. Lock in a date to revisit the conversation.

So in 3–5 months, if you’ve done what you said you would, they have no reason not to give you what you asked for.

Take Agency

This is your life.

If you don’t like your job—change it. It’s not that hard.

I get it—you like your friends at work, you’ve been there a while, it’s familiar… but if it’s not serving you, and you know you can earn more somewhere else, then leave.

It’s so easy to sit in the same job and watch life go by. We don’t have time for this. Your woman needs you to be the best version of yourself. If you’re stuck in a crappy job, not making enough—it shows. Everyone around you can tell you’re not happy or fulfilled.

It’s time to take control. Stop letting life just happen to you.

Start Today

Look for jobs. Get on LinkedIn and improve your profile. Start posting about things that interest you in your field. Build your personal brand.

(This helps—we can talk about that in another post if that’s something you’re interested in.)

But do something today.

Apply for roles. Talk to people. Stop pissing around.

You could already be earning more—you just need to try.

And that’s the truth.